Dear Sugar,

It’s been a long time coming but you and me are done.

To say we didn’t have our good times – the birthday parties, the holiday get-togethers, the sodas that accompanied pretty much every meal and HALLOWEEN (you were much more attractive than any sexy cat/nurse/pizza costume) would be a lie.  It would be a sin not to give you some credit for the years you helped pick me up when I was feeling so low. Any time I needed a boost of energy and devoured you in a candy bar or a triple grande latte with vanilla, how I soared! Oh, those secret late night rendezvous caressing you lovingly as you sat creamerly in your bowl covered by chocolate fudge and nuts. You knew how to make me happy and content even if it was just for a few fleeting moments. But it was all a lie wasn’t it? You couldn’t keep up your charade forever, could you? Sooner or later your true nature had to appear. If only I knew how toxic you were for me, I would have ran screaming from you the moment I meet you.

What really kills me is that my natural appetite wasn’t enough for you, was it? You needed more attention then what I could give you. That’s when you turned to Candida. Candida wanted you so much more than I ever did – she even pushed my good gut bacteria out-of-the-way just to have you all to herself. What’s worst – I didn’t even know it was happening. There were signs over the many, many years we were together – the weight gain (and not being able to lose it), the food cravings, brain fog, bad skin, fatigue – and like a fool I blamed myself. “You’re not eating the right foods, you’re not exercising enough” I would scold myself. In reality, it was both of you hijacking my hormones to make sure I took so much of you in and not do anything physical so you could linger internally for a long time. Nevermind the fact that I was doing everything I have been told to do over the years by the “experts”- being active 3 or more days a week, eating a low-fat/low cholesterol/whole grains diet, watching calories. But no one said anything substantial concerning you, did they? Hell, they don’t even have a RDA (recommended daily allowance) on food labels concerning how much to take of you in a day. “Just watch your calories. It doesn’t matter where they come from and you’ll be fine”. We both know what a bunch of BS that is, don’t we. Out of everyone, fat, protein, carbs – I should have been watching you the closest.

So you and Candida were having your little torrid affair in my gut for years. It was so perfect for you.  Never would I have suspected you were the cause of my ailments. I would still be blaming myself for my “choices” if you both hadn’t gotten so greedy. I still remember that morning where Fate decided I needed to catch a clue about the two of you. Candida’s appetite had grown out of control, not only did she want all of you from my insides but she wanted what was you on my outsides as well. Waking up to a burning, almost stinging, sensation on my chest and in between my thighs. Running to the bathroom to see  my flesh covered in painful trails of red, swollen pustules in the most sensitive of body parts – WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!?! Doctor said it was a fungal infection. “Use AF creams, wash your clothes in hot water, change your sheets every day and take some oatmeal baths  – you’ll be fine in a couple of weeks”.  For a month I endured sleepless nights from being so uncomfortable, tearing up over the act of walking because of the pain and washing everything I owned in scolding hot water everyday. The only thing that happened was that it got WORST! If I hadn’t of hit rock bottom and was so desperate for relief, I may have never have realized what a snake in the grass you truly are.

Out of patience living such a miserable existence, I went to see a second doctor. I explained and showed him the horror show that was going on in my private of private parts. He told me the best advise I ever got:

“Cut refined sugars from your diet. You’ll be fine in a couple of days.”

And he was right, wasn’t he you son of a bitch.

Four days. That’s all it took. After a month of constant pain, physical disfigurement and being so depressed I almost ready to write some really bad emo poetry, I give you up for four days and the rashes and pain receded. After ten days the only thing left was some hyperpigmentation left by the pustules. You hurt me so bad and I am NEVER going to let you do that to me again!

I know it has been about 2 months since that day we started our “trial” separation but I have never been happier.  And don’t think I don’t see you trying to sneak into my life through processed foods and/or using aliases such as “evaporated cane juice” or “dextran” or “treacle”. I am on to you, Buddy!

So let me make this very clear:

WE ARE BREAKING UP!

To show you how serious I am about us staying apart – I’m starting a blog. I am going to share with anyone who cares to know how much better their life can be without you. I’m going to share what happens when you give up Sugar in all its form.  I’m going to show them things that I find concerning your true nature so that they do not end up like me and maybe save some heartache in the future.

Does this mean we’re not going to cross paths again? No, mostly because we share a lot of the same friends and family so we will probably see each other on holidays and other special occasions but in much smaller dosages. As far as our day-to-day interactions go, as one of our great modern day philosphers put it -“Everything you own is in a box to the left”.

Oh, and as for Candida – I and some probiotics  kicked that bitch to the curb. She knows her place now.

Much displaced Love,

C.E.